


One of Us

by regulusiriusblack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:32:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29678469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulusiriusblack/pseuds/regulusiriusblack
Summary: London, 1979.It was just another simple spying mission, so James didn't expect anything to happen.As it escalated he just should have left and returned into safety, when he saw the little brother of his best friend lying in his own blood, facing a certain death.Death Eater or not, he couldn't leave him there, could he?But inviting the enemy into your home in the middle of a war couldn't possibly be a good idea.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a James Potter x Regulus Black story. I believe it is one of the less common ships but I recently fell in love with it and couldn't stop creating head canons about it. 
> 
> And since Regulus is so goddamn underrated and my absolute favourite character I wanted to see him a bit more appreciated. 
> 
> So here it is, "One of Us", my first Harry Potter fan-fiction and my first English written book, so be kind :) 
> 
> The song that kind of inspired me to write this is "One of Us" by New Politics.

Sirius paced around the entrance hall anxiously. What took James so long to return? It was just a simple spying mission. He'd done it a hundred times. But something must have happened. He should be back by midnight, but now it was two AM already. It made him furious that he didn't know the location of James' mission. Otherwise he could go looking for him himself, he wouldn't hesitate a second.

Someone placed a warm hand on his upper arm. Sirius turned around and found Remus standing behind him.

"He'll be alright. It's not unusual to be back late. Maybe he was forced to go into hiding."

Remus' smile almost calmed him down a bit. Almost. He leaned into the taller boy's chest and closed his eyes. He was so grateful for Remus to be there. He couldn't do it alone, all this waiting and worrying and expecting the worst.

They stood in silence for several minutes. Then, finally, they heard a loud cracking sound just outside the house. Sirius rushed to the door and flung it open.

"James!" He cried, relieved. He wanted to run towards him when he saw the limp body James was carrying.

"Prongs, who-"

But when James stepped over the threshold and was captured in the light of the entrance hall, they could properly see him and the unconscious boy in his arms. Sirius didn't need to finish his question.

He was staring at them with a unreadable expression.

"Regulus?!"

• • • 

Regulus almost screamed when he woke up and found three pairs of eyes staring down at him.

He was laying... on a couch? What the hell?

Panic struck him. His first reflex was to jump up and draw his wand. But he was so weak, and when he felt his pockets his wand was gone.

Instead he blinked a couple of times and sat up slowly. His heart rushed and he found it difficult to breathe. This wasn't right. This wasn't Grimmauld Place. Too bright and he didn't recognise the smell.

He blinked again against the light. Who brought him here? He only knew one thing for sure: He was in danger and not in a state to defend himself.

He lifted his head and tried to hide his fear. There was a man, couldn't be much older than him, kneeling in front of his couch. The two other ones were sitting on a second couch nearby. 

He squinted. He knew them.

Then it struck him. It was Potter. James Potter, that annoying friend of his brother. And the other ones were that weird Lupin boy and Pettigrew.

He backed away into the cushions. So that must mean that Sirius...

He heard a rustling noise in the most remote corner of the room.

There he was standing. His older brother. His expression was closed, Regulus couldn't guess what he was thinking.

He felt the blood rushing through his veins. This can't be good.

"What do you want?" He choked. He tried to remember the last evening. What had happened? There was a meeting, that he could remember. Then something must have happened... he couldn't recall what. But suddenly there was shouting and yelling and a lot of curses. And blood.

Regulus went sick. He didn't understand. So there was a fight. Did they lose? Was he a prisoner now? Would they kill him? Would they torture him?

"Er-" James said stupidly. He seemed to be very uncertain. "Are you - are you hungry?"

What?

Regulus shook his head. He most certainly wasn't that stupid to accept food from the enemy.

"What do you want?" He repeated.

He saw James casting a quick glance at Sirius before focussing on Regulus again.

At that moment, Sirius rose his voice. "Yeah, what do we want from him? He's a lost cause, James, and I don't want to look at him. Would have been better to leave him there. I've got enough trouble already."

Regulus looked up at his older brother in shock. That... hurt.

"Then don't look at him, for Merlin's sake. Alright... can you three leave us for a moment? Please?"

The two men on the couch stood up in silence, glancing at Regulus before leaving the room. Sirius scowled at them, but followed his two friends eventually.

Regulus didn't know if he was relieved or even more scared to be alone with one of them.

"Look" Potter started again. "You were dying. One of your - the ones who were with you must have hit you accidentally. You started to bleed from everywhere out of the blue. I couldn't leave you there, okay?" 

"If I was to die there you should have let me die. Why fixing me up. To kill me yourself? Probably he asked you to, didn't he?"

He scowled at the other boy.

"What? No!" James exclaimed. Regulus watched him ruffling his hair. He didn't even try to hide his nervousness. What an idiot.

"Nobody wants to see you dead, Regulus. We just want to help you, isn't that obvious?"

What the hell?

"Yeah. You helped me. Thanks. Now let me go!" Regulus said sternly and gathered all his strength to stand up.

But Potter grabbed his wrist immediately.

"I won't let you go to return to your Death Eater friends and destroy yourself, Reg", he said softly but determined.

Regulus went furious. "Don't call me that! And let me go, Potter!"

"Never." The idiot smiled. It made him even more angry.

"They'll come and look for me and you all will be dead in a second", he hissed. But it was a false threat and both of them probably knew it. Nobody would come for Regulus. He wasn't important. They most likely already declared him dead and never thought of him again.

He tried to ignore the tightening feeling in his chest.

James remained silent and observed him with an expression of pity. It didn't help Regulus to calm down at all. But he needed to. He just wanted to get out of this stupid place of people trying to safe him... and frankly, he really dreaded having to face his older brother.

So after a couple of long lasting seconds he raised his head and looked James determined in his eyes.

"Where is my wand, Potter?"

The older one sighed.

"Listen, I don't think it would be safe if I gave it to you right now..."

"What the hell, Potter, you can't just steal my wand!"

He tried to escape the grip on his wrists. It annoyed Regulus. He couldn't leave anyway without his wand so what did Potter think he was doing? Well, he probably knew that Regulus would turn the whole stupid friendly-looking house upside down to find it if he let him go. Still, what an arrogant idiot.

Suddenly everything went black before his eyes. Only for a second, but it was enough to make him struggle standing on his feet. This whole situation was just too much for his drained body. He swayed and almost collapsed but James caught him in the right moment and let him down safely.

"Oh, get off of me, Potter", he groaned and leaned back against the couch, now sitting on the ground.

His situation was so pathetic, so humiliating.

He wanted to close his eyes but he didn't dare in Potter's presence.

He played nicely but his real intentions were so obvious. They were enemies in a war, after all. It was foolish to believe they would forgive him just because he and Sirius shared a bloodline. A bloodline the older one despised with everything he was. And they expected Regulus to believe that. Right.

"Come on, Reg. You know that you wouldn't even have the strength to apparate. Or walking all the way back if you can't even stand up without collapsing after the tiniest bit of -" 

"I'm not weak!" Regulus snarled between gritted teeth.

"I never said that", he smiled again. Regulus hated it. "I'm just saying you need to rest. Your body needs to recover, I closed your wounds but I can't guarantee for anything and we don't know if there is any further damage. Do you understand that?"

Regulus sighed. Of course he understood, he wasn't stupid. And he didn't want to endure some long lasting damages from this, either. But he wouldn't rest here, not with all of them this close and god knows who else. Not with _him_.

"Look, there is an empty bedroom upstairs. It's far more comfortable than this tiny couch. Let's go upstairs and you can rest there. And we'll see... soon, alright?"

"Still sounds like I'm a prisoner to me, though", he mumbled and avoided those weirdly cheerful eyes determinedly.

"God, being a drama queen is definitely a family trait", James said jokingly and pulled the younger one up.

"Can you walk?"

"Well you won't carry me again, that's for sure", he murmured and only then realised too late that he just kind of gave in.

Well, he thought to himself, he'd just got to gather enough strength to retain his wand and would be gone in a second.

But after just a few steps he already felt the world swirl around him again so James had to more-carry-than-lead him up the fucking stairs anyway.

He really wished he had his wand to wipe away Potter's memories. Bloody embarrassing.

Finally, they stepped into said bedroom and Regulus pushed James away to walk over to the bed himself.

He said down on the edge stiffly and glanced back at him.

Somehow all of his rage has vaporised and an unbearable nervousness took its place. This wasn't right. How did he end up in this ridiculous situation again? God, he felt so weak and so vulnerable, cornered in this strange house without his wand and any strength in his bones. He hated himself for it. He just wanted to return to Grimmauld Place. Not that he liked it there, but it was the closest thing to safety and home he'd got. And even though it was so dark and uninviting, he'd give everything right now to be there, far away from his brother who clearly hated him and his weird false-friendly friends who probably just waited for a nice opportunity to kill him.

"'S everything alright?" James asked from across the room, frowning.

"Couldn't be better", he hissed.

"Okay... I reckon I'll leave you now, er..."

"Just go away."

And that was what James did. And soon Regulus was alone in the dark, unknown room.

He tried to relax, the bed was actually very warm and comfortable. But he simply couldn't. He was too afraid to fall asleep. He wasn't sure if he'd wake up ever again.

Probably not if Sirius found his room.

No, he definitely couldn't dare to sleep here. He tried everything to stay awake, but in the end his exhausted body won and he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It was worse when he woke up again.

Every inch of his body ached. Every breath stung like needles in his chest. He could barely lift his head.

He felt terrible.

Apart from himself, there was nobody in the room. Thank goodness, because he must have looked terrible. How did he end up in this situation again?

He groaned and tried to lift himself up a bit. It was a clear mistake. A sharp pain shot through his spine and he cried in pain. 

Merlin, it wasn't like this before, was it?

No... he recalled his immense exhaustion and weakness. Sure, his limbs ached too, and his skin was on fire. Still, not in the slightest comparable to what was happening to him now.

The door to the room flung open.

"Whoa, what happened?" Someone called with an alarmed voice.

Damn it, they must have heard him. Regulus turned his head. Potter was hurrying towards the bed and he reckoned he also saw that Lupin boy standing in the doorway, apparently hesitating to enter. It was too difficult concentrating on something that distant, though.

James stood close to the bed now. "Merlin, Regulus, you look dreadful!"

"Oh thank you very much!", Regulus hissed. These few words costed him a great effort. Something was definitely very wrong.

He hated that he wasn't at the same level as James. So he tried to sit up again. But regretted it soon.

"Argh, what did you do to me?" He groaned, his voice trembling. His skin felt so hot and he was starting to sweat.

"What? I didn't do anything. I'm not... fuck, let me check you, alright?"

"No! Piss off!" He shifted away from the older boy. As if he would let him come close ever again, after whatever it was he had done to him while "fixing" his wounds.

"Damn it, Regulus, for all we know your injuries could be infected. Or cursed, even. We don't know what hit you. Yesterday, all I did was closing your wounds because otherwise you would have bled to death!"

"It was him, then", Regulus said determined. Oh, how perfectly he could imagine Sirius sneaking up to this room when everybody else was busy and cursing him. Just for his amusement. Or to watch him die slowly and humiliatingly. Probably both. He didn't knew. He couldn't think that deeply, too exhausting. But about that one thing, he was quite sure.

"Sirius would never do that!", Lupin suddenly said, raising his voice from his distant spot at the door.

Oh, they just didn't know him, like Regulus did. The real Sirius.

"Oh you're all so naïve. One day he will betray you all, just like he betrayed us", he mumbled.

He noticed how James grew tense. "Don't say something like that", he said quietly. Regulus snorted and still tried to get into a more graceful position. He was a Black after all and didn't want to appear like a sick, helpless child to people like them.

There was an awkward silence. Regulus exhaled shakily. He was desperate. "Just leave me alone already."

They didn't listen, even worse, now Remus stepped up to the bed as well.

"You should eat something", he suggested.

"Yeah and you should shut up."

Lupin sighed. "If you don't even want to feel better not our problem. It's not on us if you die out of stubbornness."

Regulus scowled at him. "I'm not dying, what the hell!"

"Well you already look like a corpse", James admitted. "You should see yourself."

"Fuck you", Regulus mumbled. He rolled himself on his right side and turned his back on them. Can't they just leave him alone? He didn't understand why they even bothered to keep him alive at all.

Clearly Sirius didn't want him to be and the other ones probably just acted out of pity.

. . .

He didn't saw his older brother all day. After he finally got rid of the other two, he tried to sleep again. Lying awake was too exhausting.

When he woke up again in the middle of the night, everything felt even worse.

And now that he also felt the growling emptiness in his stomach, he bitterly regretted that he declined any food earlier.

There wasn't even anything to distract himself. Not that he had the strength to. But if the only thing he could concentrate on was the pain, it was going to be a long night.

And since he had practically slept the last 24 hours, he doubted that he would be lucky again this time.

Instead he tried to recall the night before. He'd attended a meeting with just a handful of second ranged Death Eaters. He didn't even want to be there, so he didn't listen and just waited for it to be over.

All those boring meetings were definitely not what he had expected when he left school. So when suddenly something loud crashed - he hadn't seen what - and the shouting started, he was actually kind of exited. Finally the moment had come to proof himself.

But then, he hadn't seen it coming. It was just a few seconds into the fight.

He only felt something hot and sharp hitting his back. It felt like it teared him open. And then the sharp pain came. It was everywhere.

Regulus remembered falling to the ground. The blood draining his black robes until he was lying in a puddle of his own blood.

Fighting people all around him. Nobody cared, he was left to die.

After that he didn't remember anything. He must have passed out.

James had been there. He was most likely involved in the fighting. So how did he get Regulus out of there? Had it been over already? Or did he take the risk of rescuing Regulus in the middle of a battle?

That would have been the dumbest and most reckless shit anyone has ever done.

He forced to stop himself thinking about it eventually. It caused his headache to become even worse. He squeezed his eyes shut and rolled on his stomach. He moaned in agony and pressed his face into the pillow. Nothing helped.

He laid like that for several minutes but if anything, his situation has deteriorated. He was so exhausted that he thought he might faint any moment. And he hoped he would, because he didn't know if he could bear it any longer. 

In the meantime he came to the conclusion that was not a simple blood infection. The unexplainable agony, how all those different kinds of pain connected, just nothing about his situation felt natural.

It must have been magic. But he didn't know the source. Neither did he know what caused it and therefore how to make it stop.

"Fuck!" He yelled, his voice shaking. He probably woke somebody up, but he didn't care. Actually, some part of him hoped that they would come for him. Then they could knock him out and wouldn't have to endure him any longer, and neither would he.

And of course somebody came. And of course it was Potter. This time he was alone and closed the door behind him, Regulus didn't really notice it, though. He tried to focus on the older boy's face. It was difficult enough.

"Here to pity me, Potter?" He whispered. Now he even lost his voice. Great.

"Regulus, I don't know whether you're too pride to admit it or just tremendously stupid. Because there is a possibility that you are dying in this very moment and you're trying to turn the only people that are willing to help you against you."

"You're already against me. I'm a Death Eater, have you forgotten?" Regulus retorted. But it didn't have the effect he wished. His voice was high and fragile and he probably sounded ridiculous.

"No. I haven't.", James said sternly. "But you must know our side doesn't believe that someone's life is less worth. Not even a stinky little Death Eater life like yours."

"I hate you", the younger boy mumbled. James rolled his eyes. "I couldn't care less. Now stop being that idiotic bitch you are and let me help you. Or don't, but then please don't wake me up at three AM again."

Regulus wasn't dumb. He knew that he needed Potter's help and he knew that he could be his only chance of survival. Admitting it was the problem. And he still wasn't sure if this wasn't a trap.

But his suspicion didn't matter, nor his pride, when James was right and he was dying. He clenched his teeth and averted his eyes.

"Go on then."

"Alright then." James drew his wand. Regulus fixed the tip of it nervously. The older boy casted some muttered spells over Regulus' body and he seemed to read something that was only visible to him.

Regulus didn't like it at all. He felt exposed and it was so difficult trying to keep still. His head was exploding, his skin was burning and his blood was boiling in his veins.

"Shit", James exhaled finally and lowered his wand.

"What?!", Regulus spat. His heart dropped. What did Potter do?! "What was that spell you did on me? Did you mess it up?!"

"It was a detector for physical injuries. I'm afraid that it wasn't just a simple bleeding curse that hit you. It... you've got a lot of internal bleeding. You're bones are affected, your nervous system as well. Even in your brain there is some first damage... God." Potter breathed heavily, while Regulus choked on his breath. It sounded as bad as it felt.

"So, I'm dying, right?" He said tonelessly.

James drove his hand through his hair nervously. "Yes... If we don't do anything. I need to think. I guess... well I'm quite sure that curse is meant to attack your tissue. Like bone tissue, muscles, anything, even nerve tracts. Internal and external, that's why you were bleeding as well.

I've read about a curse like that once. If this one is of the same kind... it will spread."

Potter's words drew the last bit of energy out of his body. So he was going to die, slowly and painfully. He was frightened and hopeless. And he felt humiliated. He wished he'd just died that evening.

"Kill me now, then", he said silently.

"What?" James stared at him as if he was mad. "My god. It's bad, but not hopeless. Fixing the injuries won't be difficult. We'll just have to find a way to stop the spreading but I'm confident about that, too. Alright? You're not going to die here."

James smiled at him reassuringly.

Regulus just stared back. He didn't feel any better. He was never good at optimism and some part of him, a very gloomy, self-pitying part believed that he kind of deserved this anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll get something for you, gonna be right back", James said and stood up. He casted a last glance at Regulus and left the room.

Now that he was alone, he didn't know what to think. He didn't really believe that someone like James Potter actually had the abilities to get this mess right.

He and his friends were convinced that they were invincible and that their righteousness and heroism would conquer anything. That they could win a war with nothing but friendship and a good heart.

They'll realise they're wrong eventually, he thought. If everyone on their side fought like this, the war was already lost.

James returned with a handful of vials. He sat down on the edge of the bed and placed them beside him.

"So, I brought you some stuff. This-" he showed Regulus a vial with a thick golden liquid. Regulus tried to listen attentively.

"- might prevent the curse from spreading. But only temporary and I can't guarantee you it'll work... Still, worth a try, isn't it?"

He handed it over to Regulus, who closed his fingers around the glass but kept looking at Potter.

"Well I figured that as long as the curse keeps spreading, there will be no point in repairing the destroyed tissue - it will just continue. But if the magic is contained for a moment, it might be easier to extract it from certain areas. If we then heal the cells, they might stay safe. It's just a theory, though, I can't promise you anything. Okay?"

Regulus nodded slowly. He still hated the thought of all this and he didn't trust Potter's abilities in the slightest. But he resigned to the fact that this might be his only hope. He might be stubborn and pride but not stupid.

Still, he continued interjecting. Firing back made him feel a tiny bitter. He had the urge to make clear that he didn't gave in on him completely. So he lifted his head a bit and looked the older one straight in the eyes.

"Why do you have to do it, though? You're only a year out of school. You can't have any experience in healing. Even if you're actually trying to help me, you'll probably screw it up anyway."

James frowned, but he didn't look offended.

"I know I'm not the best at it. But there isn't anyone else. Or should I tell the others that we've got a Death Eater in our home? They'll send someone for you, but it won't be a healer, that's for sure."

Damn it, he had a point. Why did he always have to be so right?

"Oh", Regulus mumbled, defeated.

"Yeah. Anyways... I'm afraid it'll be a painful procedure. I could give you a Sleeping Draught or stun you, so you don't have to endure-"

"No!" Regulus panted. He didn't want to know what Potter would do to him if he was unconscious. He would not go completely defenceless in the presence of the enemy. Not a chance.

"Are you sure?" James asked frowning. "Yes. I can take it." His voice was shaking again.

"Mhh. At least a Calming Draught, then." He handed over a second potion.

"Best if you take them both now."

Regulus hesitated. He was scared. He'd never admit it but he was afraid of the pain and the possible danger of the whole action. His life was on stake, literally.

But he didn't want to appear like a coward. He wanted to keep the last tiniest bit of dignity he still had.

So he emptied one vial shortly after the other.

The change was so gradually he almost didn't notice the effects at all. After two or three minutes he was feeling calm and relaxed. His heartbeat has slowed down and he wasn't feeling as hot as before. The pain hasn't vanished, though it became kind of dull, like a sound through a shut door. It was bearable. Regulus sighed in relief.

"Alright, I think I should get started now, er... It's probably best if I start with the injuries in your head. They pose the greatest danger, I reckon." James looked at him uncertainly.

"Just do it, I don't care", Regulus muttered and glanced up at him.

"Okay." He kneeled beside the younger boy.

"Just don't kill me, alright?"

James chuckled. "Don't worry, my mum showed me some useful healing spells for situations like this. And she was the best at it."

"Mhh. Great."

"Oh, and please don't move. That would make it much more difficult."

"I'm not stupid, Potter."

"Of course not."

Potter brushed Regulus' black, curly hair out of his face and exhaled slowly before raising his wand. Regulus just hoped he knew what he would be doing. He tried not to concentrate too much on the incantations James muttered while placing the wand on different points of Regulus' head.

It was alright, he thought, before the first sharp pain shot through his skull.

"Aargh!", he grunted and shut his eyes. It was a weird feeling of something intruding and swirling around his head. He felt the urge to leap up and bring as much space as he could between himself and James. Instead, he forced himself to lie still and trust the older boy. Even if it was against every of his instincts. He had to.

The stinging pain increased. It became particularly strong in his left temple. He clenched his teeth to stay silent, but it quickly became worse and worse. He panted and started sweating again.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing?!", he hissed. Potter didn't answer but mumbled a silencing spell on the room instead. Regulus recognised the spell in between all the unfamiliar incantations.

And it was in the right moment, because a second later the pressure on his skull increased even more and he could help crying out in pain.

"Sorry", Potter muttered tensed.

This couldn't be right, Regulus thought. His head was about to explode. He never felt such a strange and unbearable kind of pain before. How could the healing process be worse than the actual curse? It didn't make any sense to him. Again, he couldn't help thinking that Potter was lying about his intentions. He shouldn't have trusted him.

He squirmed under James' grip, indecisive whether he should actually break away.

"Keep still, will you?", James advised him, but Regulus didn't have the endurance to listen to his words.

"Come on, Reg, I can't do it if you're moving!"

Regulus tried to, but he really couldn't! It was unbearable. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, he repeated in his head. It was all he could think.

James put his wand down and pulled Regulus' head onto his lap to keep him still. He grabbed a cloth and wiped the sweat from the younger boy's forehead.

"Almost done, alright?", he promised and brushed his hear aside once again.

Then he continued.

Regulus was convinced that the time James was finished, his head had burst apart. He laid there, unable to move and panting hard, gasping for air.

"I've got you", James whispered. "Breathe in and out, slowly. It's better once you've calmed down, okay?"

He tried. He inhaled, exhaled. "Fuck", he mumbled finally. The worst was over, but the pain still echoed in his skull.

After some time, he slowly opened his eyes again. He lifted his hand to feel his head but brushed James' knee instead.

"Urgh", he panted suddenly. "Get away from me."

"Fine", Potter grunted and pushed Regulus' body away. "Help yourself then, next time."

He stood up. The sudden change of energy overwhelmed Regulus for a moment.

"Wait!", he turned his head. "Where are you going?"

Potter's expression was strangely firm. Regulus' words probably just insulted his ego. Merlin, he was so full of himself.

"Do you listen to yourself? You're the most ungrateful arse I've ever met. I don't own you anything here."

"But-"

"I'm exhausted, it was a long day. Not everyone spent it in bed, so if you'd excuse me, I'd rather have a few more hours of sleep than wasting them in here."

Regulus didn't know what to say, so he kept quiet. James turned away from him and walked over to the door.

"You can take the Sleeping Draught, if you want", he added. Then he left and Regulus was alone again.


	4. Chapter 4

The headaches were gone.

When Regulus woke up, it took him a couple of seconds to comprehend what was different. His head felt so light, so free.

It worked.

The pain in his torso and his limbs was more present then ever, though. Now that he could think clearly and concentrate on certain things, it was more difficult to shut out the other pain.

To make it even worse, he discovered bruises on his body that weren't there before. Some were blood red, others were completely black.

Oh my god, he thought. This couldn't be good.

And he was hungry. No, he felt starving. He would have to ask for food soon or how was he supposed to recover when his body didn't even have the energy for its basic functions?

He turned his head and faced the door. He desperately wished he could get up. But that was utopian. He could only hope and wait for someone to come and he hated waiting. Besides, it was humiliating.

Hopefully, Potter had calmed down over night. Regulus feared that the older boy would refuse to heal him again, which would be very childish after all, in his opinion. But then, that's how he'd always known Sirius and his friends.

And Potter was probably the only one who could do it, too. He doubted that Sirius had ever wasted a second of his precious time on selfless things like healing, which wouldn't matter anyway since Sirius would rather shave his beloved hair than helping Regulus. And the other two couldn't care less about him, that he was sure of. It was just James' heroism that kept him alive.

But his doubts turned out to be unfounded. Only minutes after he woke up, Potter showed up and walked over to Regulus. He yawned and looked down at him.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head is better. The rest is worse, though." He avoided James' eyes. He hated admitting his weaknesses.

"Worse? How, exactly?" James inquired.

"Er..." Regulus lifted his sweater s bit and showed him the bruises on his skin.

James gasped. "Oh fuck."

"Yeah..."

He looked at Regulus, then at the door and back again. "Listen, I've actually got work to do today. But I can't leave you here like this. I'm gonna check with Remus if we can change shifts. So I'll be right back. Okay?"

Regulus nodded silently. He didn't know what to do with the information that he wanted to skip whatever work he had to do just for Regulus.

"Wait", he called before the older one could leave. "Can- can I have something to eat?", he asked embarrassed.

"Sure. I'll get you something. And fresh clothes will do too, I reckon?"

Regulus looked down at his sweater that was still stained with his own dried blood. His trousers which were hidden under the blanket probably looked the same. It was the first time he noticed how filthy he must look. And smell, probably. Awesome.

"Yes... I'd like that", he answered. James nodded, more to himself and left again, returning just a couple of minutes later.

"I've got the day off", he announced happily the second he closed the door behind him.

Regulus didn't like the enthusiasm.

"So, here we've got some breakfast." He placed a tablet filled with toast, egg and orange juice on the nightstand. "And I've brought you some clothes of mine. Might be a little too big for you, but Pete's stuff probably won't fit either, too small. Besides, he doesn't live here with us most of the time, so I'm not even sure if there's any of his things here at the moment."

He dumped a pile of comfortable looking clothes on the bed next to Regulus' feet, then sat down himself.

"Mhh", Regulus muttered, eyeing the food hungrily.

"Do you need help sitting up?"

"No!", he said determined. He tried shifting up, but just like the day before the stinging pain shot through his spine and made him gasp, unable to move any further.

"I'll take that as a yes", Potter smiled and supported Regulus' back. Regulus clenched his teeth and to blend out the pain. It was humiliating how long it took them to lift him into a sitting position. But in the end, he leaned against the headboard, panting, but able to ignore the pain.

James placed the tablet on his lap and watched him as he started eating hastily, as if someone would take it away the second he stopped.

It was the best feeling. He felt immediately stronger and more awake. After swallowing the last bite, he exhaled relieved and let his head drop back.

Thank you, he thought. He wouldn't say it out loud, though. Potter's ego was already big enough.

James put the tablet back on the nightstand and then pulled out the same potions he used the day before.

"I suggest we start right away, hm?", he asked, turning to the younger boy.

"Do I have a choice?", Regulus muttered. He dreaded it even more, now that he knew how agonising it had been, but he knew that it was necessary.

"No. You're too stubborn to make your own decisions." James smirked and helped him lie down again.

Regulus scowled up at him. But instead of a nasty comment he resigned and drank from both vials.

"You also need to take off your sweater."

What? Regulus stared at him. No. He wouldn't do that. Not a chance.

James noticed his reluctance. "Oh come on, how to you expect me to heal you if I can't even see what's going on? Can't do the magic through layers of fabric."

Oh god. Regulus understood that. Of course he did. He felt very cold when he tried to pull it off. He felt even worse when James had to assist him, because he couldn't do it alone in his state.

God, he felt so exposed and vulnerable. He observed James nervously, who only stared at Regulus' left arm and swallowed.

"What?!", Regulus hissed defensively.

Potter didn't respond and looked slightly paler when he forced himself to focus on Regulus' bruised torso instead.

He began without a word. The magic of a few light spells brushed Regulus' skin. James probably scanned his upper body for the most urgent injuries, then decided to start on a spot in the middle of his chest.

Regulus closed his eyes so he didn't had to watch whatever Potter was doing to his body. He'd feel it soon enough.

It started as a stinging feeling in his lungs. It became harder to breath as the magic advanced. But not even in the slightest comparable to the crushing pain in his head from the last time. He could bear it this time. It made sense, though. Magical interferences in the head are the most dangerous ones. It was much more complex and probably very difficult. And when Potter was able to succeed in that, the rest, the more "normal" injuries, couldn't be that much of a problem, could they?

But then, he had no knowledge of healing whatsoever, so how could he possibly know what would require more complex magic and what was done with a simple wand flick? Maybe yesterday was the easy part and it just felt worst and now he almost wasn't worried at all while he actually could be in mortal peril?

Merlin, sometimes he hated himself for his overthinking.

A few more minutes of hissing and panting and stinging pain, but then it vanished in an instant. Surprised, he opened his eyes and found himself eye to eye with James, who grinned down at him.

"Was that... it?", Regulus asked confused.

"Not trusting my abilities, are we?", Potter smirked. Regulus rolled his eyes. Laughing, the older one focussed on his upper body again and proceeded to the next injury.

Even though it was definitely a more durable pain, after more than an hour of it, Regulus felt like he was bursting. Potter had done good work, he had to admit it, but now his entire body felt extremely sore. He didn't feel very stable either, more like a single touch could make everything crumble again.

Just the moment when he laid there, trembling and panting and thinking he couldn't take it anymore, Potter stopped and put his wand aside.

"You look like you need a break", he acknowledged.

Regulus nodded exhausted, to weak to speak.

"Alright. Let me check..." James drew his wand again and seemed to scan Regulus again.

His expression lighted up quickly.

"Awesome! It looks so much better already. The curse seems to be fully extracted. We've done it!", he exclaimed happily.

"Are you serious?", Regulus asked hopefully, ignoring how feeble his voice sounded.

"Yeah, I reckon. I've got to give you something to strengthen your bone structure, it had suffered heavily, so I think moving around won't be safe before that's completely healed. There still some minor injuries as well, but nothing threatening. And it can take you a couple of days until you're on your feet again, I can't tell you how severe the aftermath of the cursing is. But you're safe now, that I can promise."

"Wow, okay..." He was overwhelmed with relief. Was it really done, that easily?

"You..." He struggled with his words. "I guess you're not as useless as I thought." He smiled weakly.

Potter grinned. "Charming as always, little Reggie."


	5. Chapter 5

Potter left him with a Strengthening Potion and some Skele-Gro.

Regulus took the first potion immediately, but stared at the second one, hesitating. He recalled that one Quidditch match which ended so terribly that he ended up in the Hospital Wing with shattered bones in his left hand. Even Madame Pomfrey wasn't able to fix that, so she had to make all the bones vanish and regrow them. Most disgusting feeling, ever.

But this would be different, he told himself. The bones were already there, just very brittle and fragile.

Didn't sound any more pleasant to him, though, if he was being honest.

He emptied the potion before he could think any more about it and screwed his face up in disgust. Horrible stuff.

And what now?

He was looking at the pile of James' clothes. Would he be able to put them on? James told him not to move for the next hours, but thanks to the strengthening potion he already felt so much better. Besides, he could make his own decisions. He tested - and actually managed to strip off his trousers, even though his movements were stiff and slow.

He reached for the sweatpants and discovered some underwear underneath.

Oh this was embarrassing. Wearing Potter's underpants? Well, they were clean... but they hadn't always been.

God, he was such a prude.

He quickly undressed, or at least as quick as he could manage to, and slipped into the fresh outfit.

It was the best feeling. Unfortunately, now he first noticed how dirty he was. Oh, he needed a shower, so badly.

With shaking legs he stood up. After only two steps though, he had to admit that he had overestimated his own strength. It was too late now, because his legs wouldn't support him anymore and he collapsed.

There was a cracking sound and a sharp pain in his hip.

"Fuck", he groaned. He just kept laying on the ground, he didn't really care. He was totally pissed off.

At least the disgusting potion would mend whatever bone he just broke in the process, so James wouldn't notice and couldn't have a laugh at him.

He suddenly wished he had a book. Something to distract himself for a bit. He lifted his head slightly to inspect the room properly for the first time. But there wasn't much to see, except the bed he had already spend too much time in, a dresser with a mirror and a big window on the other side of the room. The colours were plain, except the red rug and curtains. There wasn't much to see, and worse, even less to do.

. . .  
  


It was another day Regulus just spent lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. It made him furious. So much wasted time and he was restless. He couldn't relax with a war going on. Even now, cut off from everything, his mind was constantly on the reality outside these doors.

What was happening? What was he missing? Every second something huge could be happening and he wouldn't know. Is someone winning? Is someone losing? Who died the last couple days? Someone he knew? Someone he cared for?

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Who did he care for?

Well, his family, right? He had parents; but they never really left the house anyway, which was heavily protected. He had cousins. Yeah, he liked his cousins. And he sometimes still saw some of the guys from school. Would be weird if they were gone, he reckoned.

Oh, why would it matter if he cared about someone's life? He preferred being alone anyway, on his own and without any responsibilities for others. You shouldn't grow close to people in a war, he thought determined. That couldn't possibly end well. So he should be proud of himself for keeping himself safe. Loss, grief and betrayal were everywhere, on both sides of the war. People were doing fatal mistakes because of it.

No, Regulus preferred it his way.

He'd survive the war, while Potter and Sirius and their friends would definitely not, he thought bitterly. But he didn't care. He had lost his brother years ago.

So, that was all he was doing. Thinking about the war, calculating his survival and that of everybody else around him. Trying not to get too depressed about it.

Meanwhile the potion did its work. Regulus could feel it too bloody well. It started with a tingling sensation in his spine and became very uncomfortable very quickly. The feeling was so strange that he wouldn't know how to put it into words. But it certainly didn't feel right. You shouldn't feel your bones and especially not how they tighten their structure and growing together in an unnatural tempo.

After a couple of hours, those feelings wore off and everything felt exactly the same as before, except his hip, which was fully healed.

It was impossible now to tell what state his body was in. God, it felt like a horrid back and forth at this point. He felt chronically exhausted and wondered how long that would remain. Also, there weren't going to be any permanent consequences, would there?

Stop overthinking, he scolded himself and tried to get up for the second time this day. And it actually worked quite alright, given the situation. He was astounded by himself.

Slowly he walked over to the door. His legs were trembling and it wasn't particularly easy to keep balance, but he managed to stay on his feet. And that was an achievement, in his opinion.

He pulled the handle and the door swung open.

They didn't lock him up? Wow, that was another level of stupidity. But good for him.

He stepped out of his room and looked right. There were a couple more doors on the hallway and a flight of stairs at the end. So he headed for the stairs, slowly and cautiously.

Downstairs he found himself in another hallway. He'd been here a couple days ago, but he could really remember anything.

Everything was so bright, there were so many big windows and all the rooms seemed to be connected. There weren't many doors.

It appeared so friendly and inviting. How ironic, he thought grimly. He hated it already.

He preferred the closed, dark atmosphere at Grimmauld Place. It promised safety, privacy. Here he felt so exposed and observed. You probably couldn't go anywhere without being noticed.

He felt a bit lost so he just turned right, walked around a corner - and faced Sirius.

The two brothers stared at each other. No one moved. Regulus had no idea what to do, or what to say, and apparently neither did Sirius.

The older one was sitting on a couch. The couch Regulus woke up two days ago. Or was it three? He couldn't even remember. 

Slowly he stumbled backwards. He wasn't ready for a conversation with Sirius yet.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Regulus stopped dead. He looked up again. Sirius glared at him.

"W-what?"

"I won't let you wander around the house", he said sternly.

"I'm not doing anything!" Regulus crossed his arms defensively.

"Oh yeah? James told me you were extremely weak and couldn't leave the bed. And now you're standing here perfectly healthy. Why were you faking, huh?" Sirius stood up, his wand loosely, but clearly visible in his right hand. He wouldn't attack Regulus, would he?!

"I wasn't! And it wasn't that bad!"

"What are you up to?" Sirius inquired with narrowed eyes.

"I- what?! Nothing! I don't even want to be here!"

The older brother snorted. "Yeah, nobody does."

"Fine!", Regulus shouted. "Give me back my wand and you'll never see me again!"

"You're not going anywhere", a calm voice said behind him. Regulus swirled around. James stood there, casually leaning on the wall and twisting his wand in his fingers.

"What? Why?! What's that supposed to mean?!"

Potter shrugged.

"We won't let you wander off to your little Death Eater friends and cause even more trouble. It's safer for everyone if you stay here."

"I- wha- No!"

Who did they think they are they could just lock him up, like some prisoner! Furious, he attempted to escape past James, but of course the older one was faster, he grasped Regulus' wirst and pulled him back.

It was more a reflex than his actual intention when he threw a punch in Potter's face.

It hadn't been very strong, still, his nose started bleeding.

"Oi!", Sirius bellowed and wrapped his arms around Regulus' torso to keep him still.

"You little bastard!"

"Let me go!" Regulus cried and tried to fight. But all the trouble had been to much for his exhausted body and suddenly his legs wouldn't support him anymore, he broke down.

Sirius just dropped him.

He fell to the floor and hissed in pain. Once again, he didn't have the strength to get back up, so he just pulled himself into an upright position and leaned against the wall.

Sirius glared at him. Regulus averted his eyes and watched James instead, who just turned around and left.


	6. Chapter 6

He felt a twist of guilt in his stomach. He didn't mean to hurt James, but James apparently thought so. He normally wouldn't even really care - but, even if Regulus did not like to admit it, he owed James his life now. It was a poor way to repay him, attacking him at the first opportunity.

"Great job, you ungrateful arse", Sirius spat and shot him a look full of disdain.

Regulus snorted. "Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Lock me up - oh right. You already did."

Sirius walked over to Regulus. For a split second he thought he'd attack him. But he just seized his wrist and pulled him up. 

"You know what?", he hissed. "Maybe James did deserve it. For bringing you here in the first place."

"Let me go, you wanker!", Regulus complained when Sirius dragged him up the stairs, his grip too firm to escape.

Of course, he didn't listen but shoved Regulus back into the little bedroom.

He stopped fighting, he was too weak anyway, and just stood still with crossed arms watching Sirius shut the door. A muttered "Colloportus." told him that he was trapped inside.

Resigned, he sat down on the bed. Wow, he thought annoyedly. It had been great ten minutes outside this room.

. . .

A quick glance at the window told him it must be early evening when the door opened again and Lupin entered.

What did he want now?

"Where's Potter?", Regulus asked sulkily. He didn't want to speak to Lupin.

"Out", he answered shortly. Regulus remembered James saying something about changing shifts so he could help Regulus in the morning. It didn't made him feel fetter.

"So what do you want now?", Regulus hissed, though he had obviously noticed the tablet with food in Lupin's hands. He just didn't want to be treated like a prisoner or a patient that needed to be looked after.

"What does it look like?", Lupin retorted and placed the food on the nightstand.

"I want to take a shower. And a book."

"You can have that. Come." Lupin left the room and Regulus followed him stupidly.

"That's the bathroom", he pointed at a door not far from Regulus' room. I'll get you something to read."

Regulus nodded and entered the bathroom.

He locked the door and undressed quickly. He didn't even wait for the water to warm up, before he slipped into the shower.

It was the best feeling ever. The clean water washed all the dried blood and dirt away he had carried with him for the last three days. The pleasantly smelling soap made all the uneasy smells disappear and his hair would finally be smooth and curly again.

He remained under the hot water longer than necessary and just enjoyed the feeling. He stepped out of the shower eventually and slipped back into James' clothes. Lastly, he inspected himself in the mirror. Thank god, he thought. He finally looked like a Black again.

Feeling the slightest bit better, he returned to the bedroom and found a pile of books on the bed.

Regulus climbed onto the bed and leaned back into the cushions. Suddenly, he realised how exhausted he was, once again.

He grabbed the book on the top and inspected it. Was this Muggle literature? It seemed strange. Something like this he never would have found at Grimmauld Place. His parents would have burned it in an instance.

But should he...? It's just a book. It wouldn't hurt him, would it? So he took a deep breath and flicked to the first page.

At the beginning, it took him some willpower, but soon he found himself actually enjoying the story. He was ashamed of it, of course. But he couldn't deny it. Maybe he could ask Lupin for a similar book, some proper literature, something that was worth reading but told the same story. Because he has already grown close to the characters. 

He had to put it down eventually as he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. He rolled himself up under the blanket and tried not to think too much about the war before he finally drifted off into his dreams.

. . .

James returned the next morning. He apparently wasn't interested in talking to Regulus and just intended to drop off some breakfast silently.

The younger boy immediately woke up at the first click of the door, though, and sat up quickly.

"Wait! Potter!", he exclaimed hoarsely. He cleared his throat quickly. Stupid morning voice.

"What?", James inquired and turned back to the bed.

"Don't you dare lock me up in here again!"

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?", Potter retorted.

"Oh come on! I'm not a stupid animal you can just lock away. I don't even have access to a bathroom! I won't let you treat me like that."

"Well you've proved us yourself that you only cause trouble if we let you do your thing here."

Regulus scowled. "I... Look. I'm, er, well. I'm sorry, okay?"

James raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. Regulus twisted his fingers uncomfortably. He was terrible at stuff like this.

"Look, I didn't mean to. Alright? Now stop pretending all of this is my fault!"

"It is your fault, though, Regulus", James stated earnestly.

"Huh? What did I do? You kidnapped m-"

James stared at him for a moment, dumbstruck. Then he rushed over to Regulus and grabbed his left arm.

"What you did?", he repeated. He pulled up the sleeve, glaring at the Dark Mark that stood out against his pale skin.

"This is what you did. You threw your life away and now you're endangering yourself and many others.

"Don't touch me!", Regulus hissed, yanking back his arm and covering the black symbol hastily.

"I have powers you don't understand. Don't treat me like that or you'll regret it!"

Potter looked like he was about to laugh. It made Regulus furious. He would be taken seriously!

"I could call him you know? The Dark Lord. With this", he waved his left arm. "He'd be so pleased to finish off four members of your stupid Order at once."

James' expression changed. Regulus couldn't interpret it. But maybe he finally understood that Regulus was someone you shouldn't bring against yourself. Maybe he'd let him go now, to save his dear friends.

"Do it, then."

Regulus blinked. "What?"

"Do it. Call him now. If there's no reason not to do it, why hesitate? He'd reward you and you'd be out of here for good. So, do it."

"What are you playing at?", the younger boy hissed. He was mocking him!

"Come on, show us how dangerous our little Reggie is. Call him."

"I - what, no, I -" He scowled and stared into the other direction.

James chuckled. "Thought so."

Regulus shot him an angry look and climbed out of the bed.

"You can't lock me in here and treat me like some child you have to look after. I'll go wherever I want. It's none of your business. Got it?"

Serious again, James seemed to actually consider.

"Well", he started finally. "You're right, you can't just stay in here, without a bathroom and everything. If I think about it, my room has a little extra bathroom... if you wanna move in with me?" He grinned at Regulus, who grimaced at these words.

"Eww."

Potter laughed. Then he sighed.

"Can you promise me not to start any unnecessary drama with Sirius? Or anyone else? And don't get yourself in any trouble or you'll have to live with staying in here. I'm trusting you, Regulus, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry", the younger boy muttered.

"Good. Er, I gotta talk to Sirius." And he left.

Satisfied with himself, Regulus walked out of the door shortly after. He stepped into the bathroom and freshened himself up, then he turned back to have his breakfast.

It was better not to be locked up in this room, of course, but he found himself spending most of his time in there, anyway. He wasn't keen on another confrontation with his dear brother, James was too cheerful and he didn't knew the other two he'd seen here before. And maybe there were even more people living here? He didn't know.

He was determined to get his wand back if they wouldn't return it voluntarily and then he'd be gone in a second. It must be here in this house, obviously, so he'd just gotta look for it when nobody was paying attention.

It's all gonna work out somehow. He had always managed to get himself out of tricky situations. He was a Black, after all.


End file.
